Orange alert! Orange alert!

I feel really bad because I featured the Neutrogena Sunless Tanner a few weeks ago as The DailyBuss. Why do I feel bad? Well I've always used the Neutrogena brand and been very, very happy with the results -- a natural glow, easy application and it's so affordable. But the last two times I've used the "foam" variety, I've had very, very bad results.

The first time, I applied at about 11am on a Saturday. To make application easier (and I've read this in several different places and did not just make it up) I put lotion on first. It makes for smoother and easier application. Anyway, the color developed and everything, and four hours later I went swimming in my parents' pool. Now the Neutrogena bottle says that it dries in 5 minutes, but not to shower for an hour or two. I waited 4 hours people. And what happened? The minute I came into contact with the water, the stuff dripped right off of me. Brown liquid dripping from my body -- not sexy! Plus I had wasted a good hour thoroughly applying the tanner. Grrrr.

So I theorized several culprits. One: It could've been the chlorine. But this should not be the case as it would have to say so on the bottle, right? Two: You really shouldn't mix with the lotion. Or if you do, you should wait a good day before showering or swimming again. Um, not very practical. Three: I made up that whole 'several culprits' thing, because I apparently only had two.

But I digress. So about a week later, I decide to try again. I'm thinking that was a fluke or something. This time I applied at about 11am again and did not shower til midnight. And I only used very little lotion on my knees and elbows, as recommended, since those are drier patches of skin. Well, I'll be damned if it didn't happen again. It all washed right off in the shower.

I'm not sure what to make of this. I've yet to call the toll-free number on the back of the bottle. I'm not sure if this was a bad batch (I don't think it could be since I'd used the same bottle three times before with fine results), or if it went bad (perhaps it got too hot somewhere, though it's only been under the sink).

The takeaway from this: In the past, I'd used the "spray-on" variety and have never had a problem with that. I recommended the "foam" this time because it's tinted so you can already see where you're applying it, making it easy to blend streaks and such. But I cannot in good conscience recommend the foam because of the above saga. Tan at your own risk until I find out what's going on.

Mad Props

I'd like to give a shout out to my southside peeps in Corpus Christi. It's grand masta B-Rad's anniversary of birth! Okay, really it was yesterday, but the network was down so surely you understand the delay. Anyway, HAPPY BDAY B-RAD!!! Hope all is well in the Body of Christ!

(Red) Moon River + Birthday Wishes

Attention All Paranoid Dwellers: Tonight is not the end of the world. When the moon turns a spooky color of red, don't freak out and call 911 -- it's a lunar eclipse! According to this site, I think it happens around 9pm. Is that eastern? I'm not sure. Does it matter? I don't think so, but I'm no Astronomy Club geek (though I AM an astrology geek -- speaking of, have you checked out your horoscopes for May?).

I'm off to practice my mini-golf skills, grab some greasy food and check out the moon! I suggest you do the same! Oh, and before I go, a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ms. Monika "Mumi" Moser! Happy Birthday from Texas!

BussBuss!
Kelly

R.I.P. Dawson & Co.

It's the end of an era. An era many wish would've ended much earlier, and that some can't believe is actually already over – for good. That's right, we're talking about Dawson's Creek. Scoff if you will, Creek naysayers, but even though DC has been going downhill for the past few years, it's still a sad realization that a big part of our youth is over. Dead. Kaput. Okay, I'm being slightly dramatic, but so what. The last episode airs tonight, and the Creek kids will most likely carry on in syndication heaven, but what does the end of this show mean for us twentysomethings who have been watching in guilty pleasuredome since (gasp!) that late '90s?

Hold the Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo mis amigos! I must admit I don't really remember much about what this day means, though I'm guessing Mexican Independence Day?? I could Ask Jeeves, but I just don’t feel like it. Even though I celebrated this day in middle and high school for a good five years, I can't seem to remember much. I think I've heard that Cinco de Mayo isn't really celebrated in Mexico, it's just another excuse for us Americans (or Texans) to partay – and I'm okay with that.

The thing I do remember is a debate at work last year over whether someone's blurb 'Hold the Mayo' was offensive or not. I don't see why it would be…it's just a play on words after all, right? But what do you think? I think it's mildly humorous, and what more can you really ask for in Cinco de Mayo blurb writing? Let me know, but in general I think we're way too conscious about offending people these days. It's a lot of stress to worry about small stuff like that so much, and as someone with the beginnings of an ulcer, I'd rather not add it to my long list of things I should be worrying about it.

Nap time…

My Blog in Tha Shizzolator

I wuz driving to my crib from a cuz's place tonight, when that shiznit hit me that I'd love try out my new roller skates, know what I'm sayin'? Only one problem, well two problems: that shiznit wuz midnight 'n I'm a brizzle, know what I'm sayin'? Knowing (via da informative media) that mass murderers only come out when that shiznit's dark, 'n knowing that if I mentioned being out in da dark alone my parents at any point that I would incur da not-safe speech, I decided forgo my Rollergirl aspirations n' shit.

But why should I has to? "Is that shiznit because I'm a brizzle," I
questioned myself." If I wuz a fool, I wouldn't be afraid go skating at night, would I? Or walk to my hooptie by myself after being out? Or a lot of things fo' that matter, know what I'm sayin'? Damn that X chromosome!

What if I took a weapon? I don't has ('n don't want) a gat." I don't has
(nor do I want) a ferocious killer d-o-g. Mace? Fresh out." Hmmmm...ding ding ding! Knives! I has knives -- not killer weapon knives mind yo' ass, but gravy ol' kitchen knives that I could skate wit, ensuring my safety...until I fell 'n pierced myself wit one that is." Wass a brizzle ta do?

My peak hours are at night, which is when I want ta do these things, know what I'm sayin'? And everyone else is asleep (except fo' da mass murderers) so I'd has da streets myself! But because I might be raped 'n/or slaughtered, I refrain, know what I'm sayin'? And that's just no fun n' shit.

Do fools has da same fears? From da few I polled, that shiznit seems da answer is no n' shit. Or is that shiznit a size issue? I know my 6'3", 220lb+ eternal life partner, doesn't think 'bout these things at izzall (tha dude's a dude fo' those who might be wondering)." If I wuz a 6'3", 220lb, know what I'm sayin' brizzle, I know I wouldn't fear anyone, or I'd be a lot less paranoid anyway n' shit. But what if I wuz a 100lb n' shit fool? I believe I'd fear many a mutha 'n a brizzle."

It seems da old adage holds true in this case: Size really does matter, know what I'm sayin'?

*Wanna put another webpage through Tha Shizzolator? Click here. The above was originally posted as the blog below : Skating With Knives. Until it was put through the Snoop Dogg Shizzolator that is!